Anonymous Sisterpack member here.
Time to get reaaaaal.
I owe a lot of money to a handful of people.
Though for the first time in my life, I’m not worried about it.
Because I hit rock bottom.
I realize that when you have $1.98 in your bank account and have nearly maxed (or OVER maxed) several credit cards, there’s not much further down you can go.
The descent is f*cking scary. When you don’t know how to get out of what you have created and don’t know who to talk to or where to turn, it’s terrifying.
When you have more month than money and are not sure about how you’re going to pay your bills, your mind creates insane stories. Perhaps I’ll live on the street, have to move back home or have to throw in the towel… AGAIN.
Despite this blog and having sisters to turn to and a community who understands, I still felt intense SHAME that I did this to myself… so I figured I had to dig myself out of this hole alone.
During the descent there was no love or compassion to be found. Only defeat.
I felt painted into a corner. And when this experience happens to you, there’s nothing more to do than to surrender. To start loving who you are and where you are. This is a choice, and in fact is the only one that will work.
So why do I share this now? Because it’s turning around.
The magical thing is when you start to choose love over hate, everything starts to turn around – including finances.
What does this ACTUALLY look like to turn it around?
- Going for a walk in nature.
- Journaling about everything that’s going RIGHT instead of wrong.
- Listening to music that makes you feel better.
- Telling someone who loves you no matter what that you’re going through a hard time and need a loving ear to vent to.
- Reaching back out to employers or clients who owe you money and asking them to pay you.
- Working out in a way that’s fun for you.
A few money miracles have unfolded over the last few weeks, and I’m slowly starting to get back into the game. Moment by moment I choose to be kind to myself instead of raging out. And if I do rage out I take a moment to realize this, and release the feeling.
I recently heard the quote: ‘nothing focuses the mind like crushing debt’ and WOW it is SO true.
I realize now that ‘failing’ financially leads to the only way to start focusing on LOVE instead of FEAR.
I will share more details of how I’m recovering as the journey upward unfolds!
<3 An anonymous sisterpack member 🙂