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MOVING BACK HOME WITH THE ‘RENTS FOR THE SECOND TIME (AT AGE 25)

 

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I’m 25 and just moved home with my parents for the second time.

If you were to tell me that last year I would’ve politely laughed and then proceed to show you out (perhaps followed by slamming the door behind you and yelling ‘AND NEVER COME BACK!’)

You see, I truly love being independent.

My first taste of parental freedom was at seventeen, when I moved away for university. It was pure bliss. I grew up in a small-town sharing a room with my three younger sisters, so to say I appreciated having my own room with cable television was a huge understatement.

But after graduating from university at twenty-one, feeling crushed under the weight of student loans, and dealing with a nasty case of ‘analysis paralysis’ I admitted defeat. I moved home.

That was a dark time for me as I was so frustrated with myself. I also got into the toxic habit of constantly comparing my life to my friends on Facebook (pre-Insta era) wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t get it together.

Needless to say when I moved out for the first time a few months later I vowed I’d never do it again.

And yet, here I am. Moving home with the parents…again.

So what’s the deal?

The reason for this is two-fold:

1) The lease on my apartment was abruptly coming to an end, so there was a fork in the road: find a new place and move out in less than a month (in mid-January in Toronto) or move home.

2) I’ve come to realize that I’ve built my life on sand rather than rocks. Working on various contracts as a mediapreneur, in positions that require a constant state of ‘fight or flight’ lead to burnout. When I didn’t care about setting New Year’s intentions, exercising, eating healthy and felt ‘meh’ towards all social opportunities – I knew something was wrong.

Initially, my plan was to keep my new home life quiet. I figured I’d move home, get it together, and move back out without anyone knowing. A blip on the radar that I’d soon forget.

But over the holidays, I couldn’t keep it quiet with close friends and extended family.

And to my surprise – it was such a relief to be honest and not be heckled for it. And further, I’ve started to notice a trend with friends, that they have had to move home too.

It’s freakin’ hard out there nowadays so it’s becoming more accepted. Well.. as long as you have a plan to ditch the home cooked meals and childhood bed sooner rather than later.

So here are my top three tips to get back out there while still embracing home life:

1) Set a date to leave. This helped my parents agree to take me back in too.

2) Get to know your parents again. As it turns out parents are real people! I appreciate this so much more as an adult, and actually listen to their advice now (well… some of it ;)

3) Stay in your lane. I’ve taken Instagram and Facebook off my iPhone. I’ve installed ‘Self Control’ on my computer. When in a vulnerable place, work hard to not compare yourself to others!

 

**This blog was reposted from ChelseaKrost.com. Written by Gwen of The Sisterpack.

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