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Knowing When To Say No

Once again I find myself unemployed trolling the internets for job posting and sending out my resume.

When I first found out that my contract was ending I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t be unemployed for five months like last time. This time around I’m giving myself two months… MAX. Since I haven’t been paying into employment insurance I won’t have that crutch while I’m looking for work. This is extra incentive to find myself a job ASAP.

Knowing I didn’t have this to fall back on my brain went into overdrive. But before it could explode I was able to get a job interview… and then a job offer. Suddenly I had a job! Within a week of being jobless I was an employed member of society again!

The only thing was that the position I was going to take didn’t suit my skills or my expectations. The company was amazing and had such a cool concept that I was psyched to get going. During my trial days I found that the tasks they had me completing weren’t what I expected. After working in such a fast-paced, high-stress job, the opportunity that I was given didn’t use me to my full potential.

Now, the money side of my brain was jumping for joy. This was a full-time position in a great location and the pay was alright. I was just so happy that it wasn’t a contract job and the stability made it even more appealing. The little banker in me was screaming that I should take it. Unfortunately there was also a little voice in my head nervously whispering that I should say no.

Why the heck would I say no? I had made a pact! I have bills to pay, student debt, and I’m probably going to be moving soon. You don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, people. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

Every time I told someone about my new job they kept telling me that I should keep looking. Bigger and better things were out there for me. When I was describing it to them I wasn’t super enthused. I just kept saying that it was a stable job with steady income and that I just didn’t want to unemployed anymore. I wasn’t trying to convince them that it was the best choice, I was trying to convince myself that it was the only choice.

I tried to ignore the sinking feeling I had, but I couldn’t shut it out anymore.

I said no to the job.

Now I’m jobless and have no income coming in. I don’t get EI and still have debt and rent to pay, but you know what? It’s going to be okay.

I have a nice cushion in my account for this exact moment. I have people in my corner and new job experience in my pocket!

I can do it!

Wish me luck and stay tuned for some updates with my December Challenge!

Karyn

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