I’ve noticed that at the end of the day, the stuff that really sticks with you is usually the most negative. As someone who works in a very high-energy job and has to have a great deal of patience while interacting with customers, there is always a chance that an interaction won’t end well.
I find myself having stress dreams about not being able to give it my all at my job, or have fears that I’m letting people down. I found this incredibly frustrating because I adore my job, my bosses, and my coworkers. The negative feelings I was having was usually ones that I was projecting onto myself. So for my May Challenge, I decided to focus on the positive. During my day if I had a positive experience I would write it down on a scrap piece of paper and then put in a jar at home.
This way I could see the positive moments building up. If I was ever having a rough time I could always go and read something to get me back in a jolly ol’ mood.
This seemed like it was literally the easiest challenge on the planet. I didn’t have to make a crazy budget, I didn’t have to fuss over my life, I just had to keep on living it but write down the positive things that happened.
Again, it seemed like an easy challenge and yet somehow I failed.
Throughout the month I noticed awesome things happening, but I never wrote them down. I kept using the excuse that I would write them in a notebook once I got home, or that I never had any paper in the moment. I easily could’ve written them on my phone since I take it with me pretty much everywhere. I had no excuse.
I was even so embarrassed about my failure that I lied to my sisters during one of our meetings that I was doing great. I thought that maybe I could make up for lost time, but ultimately I didn’t write down one single thing.
I’ve decided to take this failure and turn it into a win. It has helped me realize that I tend to self-sabotage. Whenever I take on a challenge that forces me to look at myself, not my money, I tend to freeze up.
I’m going to continue my May Challenge as my June Challenge. I really want to see the positives build up.
I can do this!